YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST SKIN ME ALIVE!
IM ALREADY TRYING AS HARD AS I CAN
SO STOP PUSHING IT, CANT YOU TELL THAT IM ALMOST AT THE BREAKING POINT?!

i know you cant...

you know what? im totally feeling nothing at all. 

 wow, i'm impressed by myself. born for the pretense. it's a torture that i know i have to live with. 

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
Till it was a battle cry

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it, too
Doesn't means that you have to forget

so i've plucked and used up the bits and pieces of courage im left with, in exchange for a chance to live with paranoia. AND my confidence are robbed away as though i even have it in the first place, given in return more pessimistic thoughts for consolation.

*pouts*